Couples Therapy
The journey of intimacy can be the most enriching adventure we take, the rewards being, growth, stability, and a profound connection to another. Yet, it can also present a variety of obstacles. Recognising and addressing these challenges is an essential part of maintaining a healthy and supportive partnership.
Relationship difficulties tend to be hidden behind closed doors, leaving couples feeling isolated with the struggles they face. Maybe you’ve tried talking, but it keeps leading to fights, distancing, or going around in circles.
Resolution
How I work as a couples therapist and what to expect
When to seek professional support in your relationship
It is perfectly normal for relationships to go through ups and downs; disagreements and disputes are simply parts of sharing a life. However, when conflict becomes constant, tension lingers, or communication feels strained and difficult, it may be time to consider reaching out for support.
The role of a couples therapist
Couples therapy provides a safe and constructive environment where underlying issues can be explored and addressed. This process encourages open dialogue, emotional understanding, and paves the way for healthier and more meaningful connections between partners.
How I work
With more than a decade of experience as a body psychotherapist, I have facilitated workshops that focus on matters of the heart and sexuality. This background informs the approach I take in couples therapy, offering a perspective that extends beyond verbal communication.
In my practice, I recognise that communication is not limited to words alone. The body, eyes, tone of voice, and even the energy field—whether it feels soft, spikey, distant, or open—can all play a vital role in how individuals connect. Sometimes, too much talking may be exactly what is keeping things stuck.
A transformative shift in therapy often occurs when individuals are able to move into a more vulnerable space. To facilitate this, I may introduce exercises designed to encourage this openness, provided it is relevant to the couple’s needs. These exercises aim to nurture genuine connection and help clients move beyond surface-level defences.
Equally, there will be plenty of space for talking and listening and this will be supported and encouraged.
Couples therapy can help with
Improving communication – it’s easy to get stuck in feeling you’re under attack and that the best defence is to attack back – when this happens, what’s ofte needed is a space where each person can allow vulnerability
Deepening emotional connection
Exploring sex – intimacy, play, power dynamics
Sexual intimacy
Developing trust - boundaries, consent, communication
Why couples therapy?
Therapist is not there to take sides, but to help the couple open up to each other...
Therapist as witness
The struggles of relationships often stay behind closed doors or each person may tell a friend or relative their version of why things aren’t working. In couples therapy offers a space to be witnessed in your relationship. The therapist holds the space for you to explore the dynamic that goes on between you.
Therapist as support
Couples therapy can help with:
Communication
Fees: £95.00 for 1hr 15 minutes
Fee needs to be paid three days in advance
Below are some of the reasons why a couple might decide to seek couples therapy
Why therapy
Practicalities
How many sessions?
The process begins with an initial consultation, during which the issues you wish to address are explored. This session provides an opportunity to identify key concerns and set expectations for the sessions to follow. Some couples find that they are able to move forward quite quickly and may feel ready to conclude after six sessions. Others, however, may require more time to work through their issues at a pace that feels appropriate for them.
How often?
The frequency of couples therapy sessions varies according to the needs and urgency of each couple. Some may attend weekly sessions, others opt for appointments every two weeks, while some choose to meet monthly. The appropriate schedule will be discussed and agreed upon during the initial consultation to ensure it aligns with the specific issues being addressed.
The Consultation
The first step in couples therapy is the initial consultation. During this meeting, the couple discusses the issues they wish to address and together we consider whether myself and the way I work is a suitable match for your relationship needs.
This session also covers practical matters, such as relevant medical information, the frequency of sessions, fees, and scheduling.
The consultation provides couples with the chance to ask any questions you may have about the process or expectations.
Constant destructive arguing: It is natural for couples to experience arguments and disagreements. Such conflicts can be indicative of a healthy dynamic, where individuals feel comfortable expressing differing viewpoints. However, when conflict becomes pervasive and overshadows the relationship, it may be a sign that vulnerability and trust have diminished.
Persistent disagreements often mask deeper, unspoken emotions. Addressing and voicing these underlying feelings is crucial for restoring trust and encouraging vulnerability between partners. Open communication about these deeper concerns can help break cycles of conflict. Couples therapy provides a safe and structured space for partners to navigate conflict, share their feelings, and work toward rebuilding trust. Through guided conversations and therapy exercises, therapy supports couples in rediscovering vulnerability and strengthening their relationship.
Constant destructive arguing
when a partner triggers us, it’s often because unconsciously they remind us of someone in our past, and we (or our nervous system) respond in ways that are more appropriate to the past than the present,e.g. rage, controlling behaviour, people pleasing. Disentangling what belongs to the past, and present can bring major shifts in relationship dynamics. These can include proximity issues, attachment styles, mother/father projections, parent/child transference, etc.
Triggers
Loss of trust
Trust forms the foundation of any strong relationship. When trust is compromised, each person may begin to act defensively or even confrontationally, which only deepens the sense of separation between them. In these situations, couples therapy plays a vital role by encouraging openness and vulnerability in both partners—qualities that are essential for rebuilding the relationship and moving forward together.
Lack of communication: Good communication forms the foundation of every relationship. It involves sharing our internal experiences—our feelings, thoughts, and desires—with our partner. Whether discussing daily responsibilities, intimacy, financial matters, or our deepest hopes and fears, it is vital to express ourselves authentically and with integrity. Equally important is being receptive to our partner’s perspective. While genuine communication is essential, it is not always easy to achieve for a variety of reasons. Couples therapy offers valuable support in developing healthy communication skills, helping partners learn how to express themselves and listen to one another effectively.
Lack of communication
Unconscious attachment patterns greatly shape how individuals form and maintain relationships, affecting communication, intimacy, and how conflicts are managed. The dynamics established in our earliest bonds with caregivers often serve as a blueprint that influences all future relationships. This foundational pattern can manifest in various ways, such as creating distance through phone addiction, emotionally shutting others out, excessive neediness, doubts about a partner's availability, and issues related to proximity. Recognizing and addressing these attachment styles is essential for fostering meaningful change and healthier connections.
Attachment styles
When one person feels betrayed or deceived by the other, it can feel like there’s no going back – yet infidelity is not always a simple case of right and wrong; it can also be a catalyst for change. Couples therapy can help you decipher what this change needs to be.
Infidelity
Financial difficulties can emerge due to various circumstances, such as the birth of a child, redundancy, accidents, or changes in the global economy. These events can significantly impact the financial stability of individuals and couples. Financial struggles often contribute to increased tension, anxiety, and stress within relationships. The pressures arising from monetary concerns can affect communication and mutual understanding between partners. By acknowledging and addressing these anxieties together, couples can better support each other and strengthen their partnership in the face of financial challenges.
It is natural for couples to experience arguments and disagreements. Such conflicts can be indicative of a healthy dynamic, where individuals feel comfortable expressing differing viewpoints. However, when conflict becomes pervasive and overshadows the relationship, it may be a sign that vulnerability and trust have diminished.
Money issues
Thankfully we have become a culture where we can talk more openly about sex, but we can still carry shame around certain areas such as, erectile dysfunction – Vaginismus – lack of desire – one person wants more sex than the other - Intimacy but no sex - Sex but no intimacy – sexual/body shame – porn addiction - Being able to discuss sexual needs, desires, boundaries, consent, power dynamic, are often tricky areas to navigate, but necessary to persevere for a healthy sexual connection.
Sexual issues
Couples often face significant changes, such as children leaving home, co-parenting, adjusting to new relationships, welcoming a new child, moving to a new home, or coping with the loss of a family member. Each of these transitions presents unique challenges that can impact both individuals and their partnership. Couples therapy can help partners discuss and navigate these changes, offering a supportive environment to facilitate smooth transitions, enhance communication, and help couples navigate new challenges together.
Adapting to new circumstances
Ending a relationship often involves experiencing grief and loss. However, there are times when either both partners or just one recognises that it is time to move on and seeks support in finding closure.
Couples therapy can provide a supportive space for this process, especially when factors such as children, shared pets, a home, the beginning of a new relationship for one partner, or significant changes in circumstances are involved. The unique situation of each relationship will shape the most appropriate path forward for achieving closure.
A desire to end amicably
If your relationship is moving along steadily but you’d like to deepen your connection, it can be valuable to focus intentionally on emotional and sexual intimacy. Strengthening communication, rekindling romance, and carving out time for play and shared experiences are all important steps.
These sessions might include engaging in intimacy exercises as a couple, whether during the sessions themselves or at home. You might also set aside dedicated time for date nights, creating opportunities for meaningful connection. These experiences can then be reflected on and discussed in future sessions, supporting ongoing growth in your relationship.